| I've made an important decision...
I need to get over it. For those that are in my non-xanga life they probably know what I am referring to. The last two weeks I've been mopey, I've been irritated with the world and those around me. Not cool. It's just a job. It is not who I am. And GOD remains GOD. The Unfailing, the Just, the Almighty. These are all names that I've trusted with Him before.
I read Davids Psalms and I am comforted with his murmers. He has written them more eloquently than I could dream. I declare him Poet Laureate!!! Seriously. Think about some of his prose and how they apply. Lets look at my last Psalm entry. Psalm 25 vs 6-11 my thoughts will magically appear in ()
6 Remember, O LORD, Your tender mercies and Your lovingkindnesses,
For they are from of old. (Please Lord, remember what you have promised in the past, remain true to your mercy)
7 Do not remember the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions;
According to Your mercy remember me,
For Your goodness’ sake, O LORD. (You've promised to forgive my sins and I know that you will, remember, in Your grace to guide me)
8 Good and upright is the LORD;
Therefore He teaches sinners in the way. (He is the "Einstein" of faith... the best... let Him teach us and guide us in His way)
9 The humble He guides in justice,
And the humble He teaches His way. (those who are willing to admit that they don't know all the answers are the ones He is able to teach, gently)
10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth,
To such as keep His covenant and His testimonies. (every action that He takes is Just and absolute, He keeps His promises... even though they may not be in our timing.)
11 For Your name’s sake, O LORD,
Pardon my iniquity, for it is great. (Lord, in your Might, pardon all of my mountainous sin... there is more than I would be able to handle, so I give it to the Great Forgiver)
These lines were written before the gift of salvation was given to the world, and yet David still cried out for mercy. Before there was any assurance of salvation for him, he still glorified the Lord, he still sang His praise, even though David had no assurance of any kind of salvation. If I know that I was doomed no matter my attitude, I don't know that I would have the same mind set. I would like to think that I would, but who can tell? I wonder what his temperament was like... Was he melancholy, was he prone to depression?
I've decided... I'm done being a jerk about this whole stupid job thing... I am not going to let it poison me any longer. I am stronger than that, and my Joy is the Lords, I am doing Him no favors by being depressed over this.
Was their behavior shitty? Absolutely. Mine is not better right now. I look back at my time at the Bell and I think that I was letting them get to me. I cannot risk that. Are they bastards... yes... but I can no longer be angry. I am letting it go. They are not my responsibility.
So looking forward. I am His, I will always be His child. He knows the condition of my life, He knows about my weird strand of hair that is half white and half brown... He cares, He loves, He plans... and I will be stronger than ever. |
(since they do not have "bloated smiley" I will have to use this one)
